The Enervating of the American Character

Reflections on The Coddling of the American Mind - Part I

Photo by Jacob Stone on Unsplash

---

Earlier this month, I finished reading Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff’s The Coddling of the American Mind. It’s a good read, in line with much of what I’ve been reading about, thinking about, and even writing about, for years now. There’s a great deal to unpack, so I’ll only be able to give a partial response here.

I plan to do two essays. The first will be a broader response to the themes it addresses. The second will be a specific blow-by-blow response to specific details in the book itself (not every detail). I’ll draw from the book in both, but more heavily in the second essay.

Keep in mind that I went into the book biased in favor of the authors’ conclusions. So, it should be no surprise that I liked it.

Why Did I Title This Essay, “The Enervating of the American Character?”

Most obviously, it’s a riff on their title. Which in turn is a reference to Allan Bloom’s 1987 best-seller, The Closing of the American Mind.

But more to the point, I titled my essay as I did because I believe that the trends Haidt and Lukianoff investigate and discuss are not just limited to college campuses and to the raising and educating of Generation Z. Gen Z is not the only generation affected by overprotection, safetyism, social media, screen time, and identity politics. These factors – and others – have changed the discourse on college campuses, but they’ve also played a role in shaping the current state of American Democracy.

College students are not the only ones with shortened attention spans. They’re not the only ones infantilized by institutions in our society (universities, government agencies, etc.). Haidt and Lukianoff have an entire chapter on how bureaucracy can stifle maturation and foster intellectual and moral dependency. I’ll note here that neither author is conversative, or is on the political right, so their book can by no means be written off by liberals as a reactionary polemic against big government and liberal universities (in fact, Haidt is a self-described, liberal, college professor).

Neither can Alexis de Tocqueville be written off as a reactionary, and he wrote quite eloquently about the enervating effect a bureaucracy can have upon a people, in Volume II, Book IV, Chapter VI of Democracy in America, which I’ve mentioned in the past. Notably, in the epigraph to their chapter on bureaucracy, Haidt and Lukianoff quote this chapter.

The authors were smart not to bite off more than they can chew. They focused on a specific problem, or a specific piece of a problem, and they come up with solutions to address it. Or rather, the beginnings of solutions, since they have the humility to recognize that a full reckoning with something that is a confluence of many societal trends is beyond the scope of a short book by two individuals.

The end of the book is dedicated to ways in which parents and educators can foster resilience and antifragility in young people. This is meant to be the start of the conversation, which they’ve continued on their website TheCoddling.com, which has a set of solutions for “Wiser Kids,” “Wiser Universities,” “Wiser K-12 Schools,” “Wiser Organizations,” “Better Social Media,” and “Better Mental Health.” This website isn’t completely filled out. Notably, under “Better Social Media,” their answer to “How to make social media less harmful [and] more helpful” is still “to come.” (I don’t mean to pick on them – I’ve yet to see a policymaker or pundit who takes seriously the problems of social media and who also has a serious, well-thought-out solution.)

It struck me, though, that what was perhaps most lacking was a solution for the current crop of young people “failing to launch.” They offer no “anti-coddling” antidote for Generation Zed. This is perhaps the area of most interest to me – and the one where I have the most to offer. (I don’t have children of my own, so while I have strong views about childrearing in the digital age, I’ll try to avoid commenting too much on something for which I have no skin in the game. I do, however, have skin in the game in the “coming-of-age crisis,” speaking of which…)

The Coming-of-Age Crisis:

I’ve written previously about Ben Sasse’s book The Vanishing American Adult, which is focused on the “coming-of-age crisis” in the Millennial Generation and Gen Z (or, as they’re called outside the U.S., Gen Zed). His book is a good complement to Haidt and Lukianoff’s, as its focus is somewhat different from The Coddling of the American Mind. They focus on digital technology, campus “callout culture” (which we now call “cancel culture”), and identity politics, among other things. Sasse focuses on “adulting” and how young people can stop “failing to launch.” Notably, both books recommend a national year of service (military, volunteer, etc.). Before college.

I won’t go into all of the recommendations here. Sasse specifically states that he isn’t offering policy solutions (which given that he’s a U.S. Senator, some people might expect of him). And I don’t have any policy recommendations either – I don’t work in public policy and don’t plan on running for office. Instead, I can only offer individual and small-scale solutions.

An Aside about Why I Prefer Individual-Scale Solutions:

I’m biased towards individuals and small institutions (like the family) and solutions on that scale. It’s not a panacea, but my favorite solution to social media is still self-regulating (which readers might surmise if they read my defense of Substack, in which I defended Substack’s policy of letting readers moderate content via their unsubscribe button).

I’ll also point out that every institution is made up of individuals. Institutions only function if the individuals within them do their jobs, and while many institutions may actually be stronger than their weakest link, they only succeed when individuals within them ensure that they succeed.

To take a controversial example, the institutions of American Government held on January 6th of last year (and in the months before that day), under a coordinated assault. Federal courts threw out frivolous lawsuits and Congress voted to certify a fraud-free election. Representative Liz Cheney has stated quite eloquently that the institutions of the U.S. Government only held because there were individuals within them with the integrity required to meet the moment, and that without those individuals, those institutions would have failed.  

I only use that example to prove the point that individuals matter, and that it will take individuals of character to reverse the enervating of the American character. The coddling (which didn’t start with Gen Z) has contributed to the decaying of the institutional fabric of American society, and repairing that fabric will require undoing some of the coddling.

Returning to the Matter at Hand:

So, what can individuals do about the coming-of-age crisis?

It depends on your station in life. The answer is going to be very different for a 22-year-old who feels like a 12-year-old in an adult’s body than it is for a 45-year-old who’s raising a 12-year-old. And it’s going to be very different for a childless 30-year-old than it is for a 60-year-old whose kids are grown.

If you’re a parent or an educator, Haidt and Lukianoff offer plenty of resources for you. For everyone else, it depends on what institutional roles you play. If you have power or influence within an organization, consider the ways in which you can rebuild the structures of society that support flourishing citizenry and encourage full maturation. In layman’s terms: think of the ways in which you can help educate and mentor the next generation, including current young adults struggling to launch.

For an example of what this looks like in action: some small businessowners purposefully take troubled youths under their wing in what might be thought of as an informal apprenticeship. One of the ways Glasgow, Scotland, cut its knife murder rate dramatically was by implementing a program pairing young people with employer-mentors who taught them marketable skills and the value of work.

What if you don’t own a business or lead any organizations?

Well, you could start a club. That may be an underrated solution. In time it could bear quite a bit of fruit.  But it requires a great deal of work. I’ve long wanted to do this, but other priorities matter more at the moment.

Perhaps instead you could look for mentorship opportunities in your community. Or, if you have any friends or family members in the current crop of young adults struggling to grow up, you could try to take them under your wing. Most people can only have a very small impact on a large number of people, but everyone can have a large impact on a small number of people.

If you’re a young person yourself, consider where you are relative to your peers in terms of maturation. And relative to where you want to be. Maybe you can get involved in peer mentoring.

But what if you, yourself, are struggling to grow up and don’t know where to turn to learn how to be an adult?

From Adulting to Adulthood:

(This section is pitched at young people, but anyone, at any age, can benefit from at least some of what I’ll discuss here, so, if you’re well past your youth, you can either skip this section or read it with that in mind.)

First off, if you’re really struggling, you’re probably going to need to turn to the adults in your life (family, friends, educators, employers), because you may need someone who really knows you who can show you the ropes. If that’s not an option, you can find some good resources online, but you’ll want to avoid much of the fever swamp of crap that’s out there. Anyone truly lost can email me, and I’ll point you in the right direction. Reading Sasse’s book might be a good start.

I’ll also say that it’s probably going to look a little different depending on your gender. Sorry, but that’s just true. For one thing, in almost every circumstance you’re going to need a male role model in your life if you’re male and a female role model if you’re female. There are a few things it’s just going to be hard to talk about if with an adult of the opposite sex – even a parent.

Most people don’t fall into the “lost” category. But you may still find yourself looking in the mirror and saying, “I don’t feel like an adult.” For brevity’s sake, I can’t tell you everything here. But for starters, relax – you’ll learn eventually. The more you act like an adult even when you don’t feel like one, the more you’ll become one. Here are some more suggestions:

-          Responsibility: Having responsibility to/for other people can make you grow up fast (especially if you get married and have kids). At the very least, having some responsibility for yourself is a good start. One of the benefits of a job is that – unlike college – everyone in your workplace will basically treat you like a grown-up even if you don’t feel like one. We often act to meet other people’s expectations. If the people around you treat you like a child, you’ll often continue to feel like one. If the people around you treat you like an adult, you’ll eventually stop feeling like a child. This is one of the reasons people struggle to grow up today.

-          Rite of Passage: Not everyone in modern life will design their own rite of passage. And a self-created rite of passage isn’t as meaningful as a societal or group one. In tribal societies, a major reason that rites of passage worked so well is that everyone in the tribe treated the rituals as definitive. Before you went through your rite of passage, you were a child and everyone treated you like one. After it, you were an adult and they treated you like one and expected you to be one, including expecting to pull your weight as a full adult member in the tribe. We’ve lost any meaningful societal rite of passage today (which is one reason people want to institute a year of service): few people serve in the military, high school graduation and college graduation have lost their adulthood-conveying significance, not everyone gets married or has kids or buys a house. But, if you so choose, some sort of ordeal can help you mark a transition in your life, especially if other people recognize it as a turning point.

-          Join Organizations: Join a church, a club, a gym, a martial arts studio, a sports team, a band, an orchestra, a volunteer association, a book group, etc.

-          Anti-Coddling: If you feel you lack boldness, initiative, backbone, or discipline, guess what? You can develop all of them. You can teach yourself independence. And you can teach yourself grit. First, get offline and do real things in the real world that require independence: traveling, starting a business (okay, that can be online), living in a far-flung place, learning new skills, becoming handy (i.e., learning to fix things), going hiking or backpacking, etc. Second, do hard things. Challenge yourself in uncomfortable ways – especially if you feel you were a casualty of the cult of safetyism. You don’t need to go to the Arctic to hunt caribou in a brutal rite of passage (misogi) to fight the Comfort Crisis, but you need to do something. Not coincidentally, this is a personal hobby horse of mine and I have a forthcoming book on the subject, so I’ll lay off for the time being.

-          Self-Education: Anyone, at any age, can become an autodidact. See my essay on “Becoming a Renaissance Man or Woman.” The true gift of digital technology is that it allows us to learn. I’ve said in the past that the Internet gave billions of people access to the greatest wealth of knowledge in the history of the world, and we use it to watch porn and cat videos. But it’s still true that we have access to the greatest wealth of knowledge in human history. Almost all of the Great Books are available online, for free (legally). You can download millions of hours of podcasts (although you might not be able to listen to millions of hours), some of which might as well be college-level seminars with some of the greatest professors and thinkers alive today. If you’re willing to pay money, you can access courses and all kinds of books.

-          Dopamine Fasts: We know the harmful effects of screen time, especially in high doses (i.e., Zoom school). But dopamine fasts aren’t just about limiting screen time. They’re about extended breaks from overstimulation. Constant dopamine surges are perhaps as bad for mental health as constant insulin spikes are for physical health. Part of “caring for your mental health” involves occasionally avoiding pleasure and comfort to rest your endocrine system.

By no means is this an exhaustive list. I could have added, “get married and have kids,” but that’s easier said than done – I’m not married and don’t have kids – and though I’m pro-natalist, I recognize that not everyone wants, or can have, kids. Perhaps I’ll follow up on this essay in the future, or in the comments. Or, if you email me, I’m happy to continue the conversation at the individual level.

---

I could end the essay there. And in fact, for many readers, I think that will suffice. But if you’d like to read a - perhaps overwrought - sidebar going deeper into the enervating of the American character and the institutional fabric of American society, check that out here.

Conclusion:

Rather than leave you on a dour note, I’ll say this: every generation has had to grapple with crises, and it is within the realm of the possible that young Americans will rise to meet this one. Solutions always start on the individual level. Which is where I plan to start. Feel free to offer your own anti-coddling antidotes in the comments section. Or harangue me, so long as you stay civil. Tomorrow, I’ll post part II of this series on The Coddling of the American Mind.

To read Part II, click here.