Human Flight
A Story about Raining and Parades
The city planning commission convened for their annual Innovative Projects Meeting in early January. This was the meeting where the various members of the committee put forward ambitious projects for local improvement, and the committee voted on whether or not to take them on in the coming year. Everyone had to submit an idea, but only one would be chosen.
Last year, the committee had chosen to build a new library – which hadn’t been completed yet, but which would be the biggest library in the entire state. At least, once funding had been found for the roof, that is. The year before, the committee had chosen to buy every citizen in the city a puppy, because Councilor Frederickson had mentioned that he’d seen an anonymous tweet to the effect that if every person in the world had a dog, the world would be a better place. The council had agreed that this proposal was a good one, and most of the members studiously avoiding mentioning the stray dog problem the city now had.
Councilor Frederickson brought the committee to order. “Happy New Year, everyone,” he said. “I hope you had a great time celebrating the other night and you’re ready with some fresh and fun ideas. This is my favorite meeting every year. I just love starting the year off with ambition and purpose. Is everyone ready to get started?”
There was a chorus of yeses and Happy New Years.
“Alright, glad to hear it. This is going to be fun. Mr. Wu, why don’t you start?”
There was a smattering of groans. Most people on the committee didn’t like Mr. Wu, who everyone agreed was the least fun and least innovative member. He seemed to actively dislike these meetings and was the only person who asked annoying questions like, “When are we going to get the funding for the library?” or “What are we going to do about the dog feces problem in the parks?”
Mr. Wu sighed. “Very well,” he said. “My proposal is that we cut property taxes by 5% and offset the cut by eliminating carveout for the university.”
This time, the groans were louder.
“Mike, you never seem to get into the spirit of things,” said Councilor Davis.
“C’mon, man. Why can’t you just come up with a fun idea like the rest of us? Why’s it always got to be something boring?” called out Mr. Adrian.
“Ok. So, we aren’t doing that,” said Councilor Frederickson. “Does anybody have any clever ideas? Dave, how about you?”
Mr. Adrian leaned forward. “Thank you,” he said. “My idea is a little off-the-wall, but I think you’ll like it. A new public pool. But not just any pool. We’re going to have a public waterpark. I’ll bet we can build the biggest one in the state too. I looked it up and the biggest one is in Richton and it only has ten waterslides. It shouldn’t be hard to do better than that.”
Mike Wu opened his mouth to speak, but Mr. Adrian cut him off. “Mike, before you say anything, I don’t want to hear a single word about whether or not we can afford it. This is the big ideas meeting. Stop raining on everyone else’s parade.”
Councilor Frederickson jumped in before Mr. Wu could respond. “A bold idea,” he said. “Certainly bold. Does anyone have any bolder ideas?”
“A new dog park,” said Councilor Davis. “You know, because we have so many dogs…”
Everyone looked at him and he trailed off. Anita Hiitz jumped in to save him from the ignominy. “I’ve got an idea,” she said. “How about building a bypass for the interstate? The traffic north on Sundays is probably this town’s biggest problem right now. We could probably finish the bypass in a year if we streamlined the project.”
Councilor Frederickson nodded. “A good idea,” he said. “Very practical. Anybody else? How about you Ruth? You haven’t spoken all meeting.”